Cosmo special.
HE HATES ME
(Cosmopolitan, 5/2011)
I'm 22 and I know this guy who hates me. He acts like he's better than me and calls me names like bitch, cow and tart, even though I've only ever had one boyfriend. What can I do to stop him? I know he doesn't fancy me as I've checked the situation out.
Uncle William says:
Grow up. Who cares whether you've had one, none, or 300 boyfriends?! Why would you give some random asshole that amount of power over how you feel about yourself?
Oh I see, because you're kind of interested in him yourself.
So what are you really afraid you might not let him stop doing?
I WANT TO BE CHASED
(Cosmopolitan, 6/2011)
For once i'd like a girl to come up to me in a bar. Women say they want equality but then just sit looking pretty, waiting for us to do all the hard work. Come on, ladies, make the effort. Chase me!
Uncle William says:
Oh please. Uncle William doesn't sympathise for wimpy guys.
AM I READY FOR SEX?
(Cosmopolitan, 2/2011)
My boyfriend and I are both 19. I’ve only been with him for three months but we’ve been discussing having sex. I’m pretty keen and so is he, although he does seem nervous. Should I go for it? Or is three months too short a time to tell if he’s right for me and if I can trust him?
Uncle William says:
It's far too long. You've been together for three months and you don't know if he's right or you can trust him: what exactly have you been doing all this time to call him your boyfriend?
Lose him.
Look, you're young, go have some fun, meet some guys, mess around, find out what you like. And leave that dating stuff for the someone you're already intimate with and still really like.
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 15
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 14
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 13
Monday, March 05, 2012
Sunday, March 04, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
CUT HANDS LIVE UPDATE 10
Leaving for Los Angeles on Monday, excited to be back playing live in the States. Look out for amazing nights with special surprises along the way. And for some shows some extralinguistic sequencing too. Get your vaudou on, cut hands has the solution, see you there.
USA TOUR
14th February : Handbag Factory (Los Angeles, USA) + Baseck
15th February : ND (Austin, USA) + Eloe Omoe
18th February : Empty Bottle (Chicago, USA) + Bongripper
19th February : Now That's Class (Cleveland, USA) + Prostitutes
20th February : The Dionysus Disco (Oberlin, USA) + Aaron Dilloway
21st February : The Shop (PIttsburgh, USA) + TM Eye + Trogpite
23rd February : Pyramid Atlantic (Washington DC, USA) + Blue Sausage Infant + Janel
24th February : Public Assembly (New York, USA)
25th February : What We Talk About When We Talk About Us (Allston, USA) + Veiled + Shawn Greenlee + Karlheinz
21st March : Instants Chavirés (Paris, France)
24th March : Exotic Pylon Festival, Vortex Jazz Club (London, UK) + Andy Stott + Dalglish + Ship Canal
30th March : Avatarium Festival (Saint Etienne, France) + Leatherface
25th May : WGT Festival (Leipzig, Germany)
21st July : tbc (Edinburgh, UK)
tbc September : tbc (Seattle, USA)
+ lots more shows to be announced soon
USA TOUR
14th February : Handbag Factory (Los Angeles, USA) + Baseck
15th February : ND (Austin, USA) + Eloe Omoe
18th February : Empty Bottle (Chicago, USA) + Bongripper
19th February : Now That's Class (Cleveland, USA) + Prostitutes
20th February : The Dionysus Disco (Oberlin, USA) + Aaron Dilloway
21st February : The Shop (PIttsburgh, USA) + TM Eye + Trogpite
23rd February : Pyramid Atlantic (Washington DC, USA) + Blue Sausage Infant + Janel
24th February : Public Assembly (New York, USA)
25th February : What We Talk About When We Talk About Us (Allston, USA) + Veiled + Shawn Greenlee + Karlheinz
21st March : Instants Chavirés (Paris, France)
24th March : Exotic Pylon Festival, Vortex Jazz Club (London, UK) + Andy Stott + Dalglish + Ship Canal
30th March : Avatarium Festival (Saint Etienne, France) + Leatherface
25th May : WGT Festival (Leipzig, Germany)
21st July : tbc (Edinburgh, UK)
tbc September : tbc (Seattle, USA)
+ lots more shows to be announced soon
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 15
THEY SAY SHE'S OUT TO TRAP ME
(Daily Star, 2/2012)
I adore my new lover. She's sexy, loud and full of fun. But I’m terrified that she’s trying to trap me.
I’ve told her over and over again that I’m not interested in having a second family. My sons from my first marriage are now 19 and 21 and I’m done with breeding. The two I have cost me a fortune. One has just dropped out of university and the other has never worked. I certainly don’t want any more. Yet my girl keeps going on about babies. She talks about how beautiful our child would be. She insists that I’d make a brilliant, mature dad.
When I confront her she says that she’s just joking or winding me up, but there’s no smoke without fire. It frustrates and annoys me that she simply doesn’t listen.
I’m a successful businessman. I earn a few bob and enjoy a good lifestyle. I love travelling and being free. The last thing I need is another screaming brat in my life.
My girl is several years younger than me and my oldest friends refer to her as The Piranha behind her back. They claim that she’s a ruthless gold-digger who is after my money and an easy life. My mate reckons I’m a fool for allowing myself to be flattered and sucked in.
He insists that she’s got an agenda and that I’m playing with fire every time I jump into bed with her. But I know she’s on the Pill because I’ve seen her taking it on the several occasions when we’ve been away for romantic weekends together. Plus she’s certainly not a gold-digger because she’s got a great, well-paid job working for her family.
I keep telling my friends to mind their own business but, privately, their warnings ring in my ears. Perhaps she is a vulture and I’m easy prey. Perhaps she does intend to trap me and take my money.
Uncle William says:
You keep pulling the same trick and here's how you do it: 'I adore my new lover. She's sexy, loud and full of fun. But I’m terrified that she’s trying to trap me.'
Note the sneaky use of that one word: 'BUT'. There's no 'BUT' there, it's 'AND'. She's wonderful AND you're terrified.
Dump your pathetic fears and grow up.
See, the issue here isn't about her, it's about you and your dithering paranoia, it's about you and your suspicious attitudes, your cowardly gullibility, your mean-spirited distrust.
You don't want to have children? Then wear a fucking condom.
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 14
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 13
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 12
(Daily Star, 2/2012)
I adore my new lover. She's sexy, loud and full of fun. But I’m terrified that she’s trying to trap me.
I’ve told her over and over again that I’m not interested in having a second family. My sons from my first marriage are now 19 and 21 and I’m done with breeding. The two I have cost me a fortune. One has just dropped out of university and the other has never worked. I certainly don’t want any more. Yet my girl keeps going on about babies. She talks about how beautiful our child would be. She insists that I’d make a brilliant, mature dad.
When I confront her she says that she’s just joking or winding me up, but there’s no smoke without fire. It frustrates and annoys me that she simply doesn’t listen.
I’m a successful businessman. I earn a few bob and enjoy a good lifestyle. I love travelling and being free. The last thing I need is another screaming brat in my life.
My girl is several years younger than me and my oldest friends refer to her as The Piranha behind her back. They claim that she’s a ruthless gold-digger who is after my money and an easy life. My mate reckons I’m a fool for allowing myself to be flattered and sucked in.
He insists that she’s got an agenda and that I’m playing with fire every time I jump into bed with her. But I know she’s on the Pill because I’ve seen her taking it on the several occasions when we’ve been away for romantic weekends together. Plus she’s certainly not a gold-digger because she’s got a great, well-paid job working for her family.
I keep telling my friends to mind their own business but, privately, their warnings ring in my ears. Perhaps she is a vulture and I’m easy prey. Perhaps she does intend to trap me and take my money.
Uncle William says:
You keep pulling the same trick and here's how you do it: 'I adore my new lover. She's sexy, loud and full of fun. But I’m terrified that she’s trying to trap me.'
Note the sneaky use of that one word: 'BUT'. There's no 'BUT' there, it's 'AND'. She's wonderful AND you're terrified.
Dump your pathetic fears and grow up.
See, the issue here isn't about her, it's about you and your dithering paranoia, it's about you and your suspicious attitudes, your cowardly gullibility, your mean-spirited distrust.
You don't want to have children? Then wear a fucking condom.
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 14
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 13
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 12
Thursday, February 02, 2012
CUT HANDS LIVE UPDATE 9
4th February : Blackest Ever Black, Islington Mill (Manchester, UK) + Demdike Stare + Raime + Regis
USA TOUR
14th February 2012 : Handbag Factory (Los Angeles, USA) + Baseck
15th February 2012 : ND (Austin, USA) + Eloe Omoe
17th February 2012 : Apop Records (St. Louis, USA) + Larva
18th February 2012 : Empty Bottle (Chicago, USA) + Bongripper
19th February 2012 : Now That's Class (Cleveland, USA) + Prostitutes
20th February 2012 : The Dionysus Disco (Oberlin, USA)
21st February 2012 : The Shop (PIttsburgh, USA) + TM Eye + Trogpite
23rd February 2012 : Pyramid Atlantic (Washington DC, USA) + Blue Sausage Infant + Janel
24th February 2012 : Public Assembly (New York, USA)
25th February 2012 : What We Talk About When We Talk About Us (Allston, USA) + Veiled + Shawn Greenlee + Karlheinz
21st March 2012 : Instants Chavirés (Paris, France)
24th March 2012 : tbc (London, UK)
29th March : Avatarium Festival (Saint Etienne, France)
tbc May : WGT Festival (Leipzig, Germany)
21 July : (Edinburgh, UK)
USA TOUR
14th February 2012 : Handbag Factory (Los Angeles, USA) + Baseck
15th February 2012 : ND (Austin, USA) + Eloe Omoe
17th February 2012 : Apop Records (St. Louis, USA) + Larva
18th February 2012 : Empty Bottle (Chicago, USA) + Bongripper
19th February 2012 : Now That's Class (Cleveland, USA) + Prostitutes
20th February 2012 : The Dionysus Disco (Oberlin, USA)
21st February 2012 : The Shop (PIttsburgh, USA) + TM Eye + Trogpite
23rd February 2012 : Pyramid Atlantic (Washington DC, USA) + Blue Sausage Infant + Janel
24th February 2012 : Public Assembly (New York, USA)
25th February 2012 : What We Talk About When We Talk About Us (Allston, USA) + Veiled + Shawn Greenlee + Karlheinz
21st March 2012 : Instants Chavirés (Paris, France)
24th March 2012 : tbc (London, UK)
29th March : Avatarium Festival (Saint Etienne, France)
tbc May : WGT Festival (Leipzig, Germany)
21 July : (Edinburgh, UK)
Friday, January 20, 2012
RWM NEW MIX
The latest African percussion mix for Radio Web MACBA (Museu d'Art Contemporani de Barcelona) has gone live.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
CUT HANDS LIVE UPDATE 8
19th January : Rhiz (Vienna, Austria)
20th January : Galerie Divus (Prague, Czech Republic) + S/M
21st January : Klick Club (Berlin, Germany) + Anemone Tube
26th January : Supersimetria (Barcelona, Spain) + Hecker + Phill Niblock and others
1st February : CTM.12 (Berlin, Germany) + Haxan Cloak + Bill Kouligas + PRSZR
4th February : Blackest Ever Black, Islington Mill (Manchester, UK) + Demdike Stare + Raime + Regis
USA TOUR
14th February 2012 : Los Globos (Los Angeles, USA)
15th February 2012 : ND (Austin, USA) + Christeene
17th February 2012 : Apop Records (St. Louis, USA)
18th February 2012 : Empty Bottle (Chicago, USA) + Bongripper
19th February 2012 : Now That's Class (Cleveland, USA) + Prostitutes
20th February 2012 : The Dionysus Disco (Oberlin, USA)
21st February 2012 : The Shop (PIttsburgh, USA) + TM Eye + Trogpite
23rd February 2012 : Pyramid Atlantic (Washington DC, USA) + Blue Sausage Infant + Janel
24th February 2012 : Public Assembly (New York, USA)
25th February 2012 : What We Talk About When We Talk About Us (Allston, USA) + Veiled + Shawn Greenlee + Karlheinz
21st March 2012 : Instants Chavirés (Paris, France)
29th March : Avatarium Festival (Saint Etienne, France)
tbc May : (Leipzig, Germany)
21 July : (Edinburgh, UK)
20th January : Galerie Divus (Prague, Czech Republic) + S/M
21st January : Klick Club (Berlin, Germany) + Anemone Tube
26th January : Supersimetria (Barcelona, Spain) + Hecker + Phill Niblock and others
1st February : CTM.12 (Berlin, Germany) + Haxan Cloak + Bill Kouligas + PRSZR
4th February : Blackest Ever Black, Islington Mill (Manchester, UK) + Demdike Stare + Raime + Regis
USA TOUR
14th February 2012 : Los Globos (Los Angeles, USA)
15th February 2012 : ND (Austin, USA) + Christeene
17th February 2012 : Apop Records (St. Louis, USA)
18th February 2012 : Empty Bottle (Chicago, USA) + Bongripper
19th February 2012 : Now That's Class (Cleveland, USA) + Prostitutes
20th February 2012 : The Dionysus Disco (Oberlin, USA)
21st February 2012 : The Shop (PIttsburgh, USA) + TM Eye + Trogpite
23rd February 2012 : Pyramid Atlantic (Washington DC, USA) + Blue Sausage Infant + Janel
24th February 2012 : Public Assembly (New York, USA)
25th February 2012 : What We Talk About When We Talk About Us (Allston, USA) + Veiled + Shawn Greenlee + Karlheinz
21st March 2012 : Instants Chavirés (Paris, France)
29th March : Avatarium Festival (Saint Etienne, France)
tbc May : (Leipzig, Germany)
21 July : (Edinburgh, UK)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Friday, January 06, 2012
CUT HANDS LIVE UPDATE 7
19th January : Rhiz (Vienna, Austria)
20th January : Galerie Divus (Prague, Czech Republic)
21st January : KlickClub (Berlin, Germany)
26th January : Supersimetria (Barcelona, Spain) + Hecker + Phill Niblock and others
1st February : CTM12 (Berlin, Germany)
4th February : Blackest Ever Black, Islington Mill (Manchester, UK) + Demdike Stare + Raime + Regis
USA TOUR
14th February 2012 : Los Globos (Los Angeles, USA)
15th February 2012 : (Austin, USA)
17th February 2012 : Apop Records (St. Louis, USA)
18th February 2012 : Empty Bottle (Chicago, USA) + Bongripper
19th February 2012 : Now That's Class (Cleveland, USA) + Prostitutes
20th February 2012 : The Dionysus Disco (Oberlin, USA)
21st February 2012 : The Shop (PIttsburgh, USA) + TM Eye + Trogpite
23rd February 2012 : Pyramid Atlantic (Washington DC, USA) + Blue Sausage Infant + Janel
24th February 2012 : Public Assembly (New York, USA)
25th February 2012 : What We Talk About When We Talk About Us (Allston, USA) + Veiled + Shawn Greenlee + Karlheinz
21st March 2012 : Instants Chavirés (Paris, France)
29th March : Avatarium Festival (Saint Etienne, France)
20th January : Galerie Divus (Prague, Czech Republic)
21st January : KlickClub (Berlin, Germany)
26th January : Supersimetria (Barcelona, Spain) + Hecker + Phill Niblock and others
1st February : CTM12 (Berlin, Germany)
4th February : Blackest Ever Black, Islington Mill (Manchester, UK) + Demdike Stare + Raime + Regis
USA TOUR
14th February 2012 : Los Globos (Los Angeles, USA)
15th February 2012 : (Austin, USA)
17th February 2012 : Apop Records (St. Louis, USA)
18th February 2012 : Empty Bottle (Chicago, USA) + Bongripper
19th February 2012 : Now That's Class (Cleveland, USA) + Prostitutes
20th February 2012 : The Dionysus Disco (Oberlin, USA)
21st February 2012 : The Shop (PIttsburgh, USA) + TM Eye + Trogpite
23rd February 2012 : Pyramid Atlantic (Washington DC, USA) + Blue Sausage Infant + Janel
24th February 2012 : Public Assembly (New York, USA)
25th February 2012 : What We Talk About When We Talk About Us (Allston, USA) + Veiled + Shawn Greenlee + Karlheinz
21st March 2012 : Instants Chavirés (Paris, France)
29th March : Avatarium Festival (Saint Etienne, France)
CUT HANDS : AFRO NOISE I LPS
AFRO NOISE I VINYLBoth volumes of the beautiful 180gm vinyl editions of Afro Noise I are now available in limited quantities direct from Susan Lawly. A lot of blood and tears went into this and now I'm thrilled with the results of that considerable extra effort which went into making the sound and production values as perfect as possible.
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