I'M A SLAVE TO MY BRAT GIRL
(The Daily Star, 9/11/11)
My girlfriend’s typical day goes something like this. Up at the crack of noon, beauty treatments, lunch and shopping until 4pm. Then it’s back home for Facebook, online browsing and catalogues until I stagger in at 6pm. She then lies back on the settee and orders me to cook her favourite foods while she watches soaps or chats to friends.
I’m left to clear up the flat, organise the washing and pay the bills, all on top of working a full day. To say she’s a diva is being nice.
To say she’s a lazy, greedy, grasping brat is more the truth.
I’m the only one earning any money, but it doesn’t cross her mind to pitch in or help out.
All she does is take, take, take and demand more from me.
She’s only just had her birthday and now she’s talking about what she wants for Christmas and the New Year (yep, I’m required to buy her a New Year present too).
At the moment she’s also obsessed with where she wants to go on holiday next summer: Ibiza or somewhere more exotic. It’s all such a dilemma...
Come 10pm, just as I’m drying the last of the pots, she genuinely expects me to come over all romantic and whisk her off to bed for a night of passion. When I try to point out that I’m knackered and feel about as frisky as the dishcloth she goes into a major strop. She accuses me of neglecting her and not putting enough effort into our relationship. Ha. That’s a joke. I’m the only one putting any effort into anything.
Whenever I suggest her getting a job she says she won’t because she’s got a phobia about public transport and can’t get on a bus. If ever I beg her to help me around the flat she sniffs that it’s not her problem, because it’s not her flat, it’s mine.
How am I supposed to deal with this?
Uncle William says:
Every single time you give in to the demands, every time you tolerate her bratty behaviour, every time you beg for her help, she hates you just that little bit more.
To begin with, it was a test to see if you're man enough for her. And you failed. Not even a boy, you're a bitch wimp.
And now she's enjoying this free easy comfy ride perhaps occasionally recalling the dream of what being with a man would really be like. Being with that someone who'd call her on her bullshit, that someone who'd take her on his whims, that someone who'd ruthlessly expect her to be woman enough to have to deserve her rewards.
It's over, at least man up to tell her you're finished. This relationship is dead.
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 11
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 10
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 9