WHY IS MY MAN ALWAYS NAGGING ME TO LOOK SMARTER?
(Daily Mail 6/6/11)
For the past six months, I’ve been going out with a man who seems like a great match for me. We’re both divorced with teenagers and have plenty of shared interests and friends.
The sex would be good, too, if he wasn’t so critical about my personal grooming. He is always nagging me to wax, wear make-up or to get my hair done. I’ve always felt you should be happy in your own skin and that it’s a form of weakness to spend your time primping for men.
He says that if I really loved him I’d make a bit of effort to look glamorous in the bedroom, but I think he should love me as I am. How can we resolve this?
Uncle William says:
Personal grooming as a form of weakness, right.
Why not go a week without a shower until every pore of your flabby hairy excreting body is stinked up with putrid residue? Keep those repulsive leggings on at all times along with that baggy sports top. Oh, and the underwear'll be fine too, the scraggly ill-fitting beige bra and pants. Also, leave those matted locks just the way they are, nice and greasy and bedraggled.
Because then we'll find out if that bastard is capable of showing you the real love you feel you're so deserving of.
For fuck's sake, is this some kind of rutting contest or an intimate loving relationship?
Resolve it by dressing like an expensive slut. In the bedroom and everywhere else. You should know that Uncle William would, at the very least, demand that.
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 9
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 8
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 7