Tuesday, April 05, 2011

DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 2

Another gratuitous helping of avuncular guidance.

HE SAYS CAR'S A BETTER RIDE
(The Sun, 5/4/11)
My boyfriend recently bought an RS Turbo and openly brags about it being better than sex with me. This has really knocked my confidence. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 22. I have been seeing him since last summer and I really love him. It's really embarrassing when he compares it to me in front of his mates. I am sure I must be doing something wrong as he prefers driving about with just the car to spending time with me. I don't know what to do as I still love him.


Uncle William says:
First of all, cut the bullshit about loving him.
He's still a boy for whom feeling validated by impressing his pals is always going to win out over sex with an 18-year-old girl, however enticing she might otherwise sound to your average middle-aged menopausal embarrassing dad/divorcee. Above all, avoid guys whose conversation topics can be depicted on a fucking graph or chart.
You're only 18 years old: go out and sleep around a bit, be a slut, have some fun and find out what you really like and don't like. Then you'll know.

DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM

1 comment:

Miss Kerry said...

dear miss autoparts
your guy is a rev-head
its a type of mech-geek, based purely on motorvehicles
i suggest you get a sash printed with ' Miss Auto-body 20** ) and pose with it on the car.
Oh and hold a cold beer in each hand
that should work.
by the way, if you really want to spend more time with him, take auto-shop at community colledge.
Or why not beat him at his own game?
Take shop, buy a junker and fix it up. I mean, really go to town. Then drive by his house when hes hanging out of his cars engine, and rev your engine. And
make sure you do donuts in front of his house, at 3am. This shows you love him.