DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 11

I FEEL SUCH A PLONKER FOR SLEEPING WITH WINE SHOP BOSS
(The Sun, 26/10/11)
I've done something so stupid and regrettable - I've had sex with the manager of the wine shop where I work.
I'm 24 and this guy I work with is 30. We run a big wine shop where wine-buffs come in and bulk-buy it by the case.
My boss is full of himself and married but it's no secret that he shags around. He's been known to go with customers as well as other girls who work with me, and I know he had sex with the girl who had my job before me. I was determined he wasn't going to get his paws on me as he treats girls so badly.
But then we went away for a weekend to a big wine-tasting exhibition. My boss was lording it up as usual and started sending me flirty texts, saying how lovely I was.
We went back to our hotel and he invited me up to his room and tried to seduce me, but I said to him, "I know what will happen; I'll sleep with you and you'll then you'll ignore me."
He denied it, saying he'd never treat me that way. I gave in – he won – and we ended up in the sack. He was a great lover and I thought we had something going.
We got back to work and it was a different story. Just as I'd predicted, he ignored me when I walked past his office shouting hello. He just gave me an evil look.
How can I work with him when he knows what is underneath my clothes and I know what he's got in his trousers?
I'm married and my husband treats me well, so why have I been such a fool?

Uncle William says:
Really, it's no mystery, we've seen it all before.
Uncle William knows what you've got underneath your clothes, we all know what you've got underneath your clothes, and believe me, you're no different to anyone else.
And furthermore, that pussy of yours is greedy and that's great. Enjoy it. Admit it. And quit trying to use it as a means for soul possession.
You got to go for a swanky weekend tasting fine wines, you got enjoyably and satisfyingly fucked, and best of all, your boss isn't making a creepy fuss about your indiscretions. What a gentleman. You're a lucky girl.

DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 10
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 9
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 8

CUT HANDS LIVE UPDATE 4

New Cut Hands shows added for Vienna, Berlin, and Poznan now confirmed for 21st November.

10th Oct : Unsound Festival (Krakow, Poland) - sold out
21st Oct : Blackest Ever Black (London, UK) - Regis + Raime + special guest
23rd Oct : Supersonic Festival (Birmingham, UK)
2nd Nov : Mayhem (Copenhagen, Denmark)
11th Nov : www.magasin4.be (Brussels, Belgium)
19th Nov : (Gdansk, Poland)
21st Nov : (Poznan, Poland)
28th Nov : (Lyon, France)
30th Nov : (Geneva, Switzerland)
2nd Dec : Unit (Tokyo, Japan) - Incapacitants 30th Anniversary + Ramleh
4th Dec : (Kyoto, Japan) - Ramleh
10th Dec : (Amsterdam, Netherlands)

2012
19th Jan : Rhiz (Vienna, Austria)
21st Jan : King Kong Club (Berlin, Germany)
tbc Jan : (Paris, France)
tbc Jan : (Barcelona, Spain)
4th Feb : (Manchester, UK)
tbc Feb : tour (USA)
tbc Mar : (Saint Etienne, France)

ACQUISITIONS 16

reading
The Fatal Gift Of Beauty: The Trials Of Amanda Knox - Nina Burleigh
Demonic Males - Richard Wrangham, Dale Peterson
Clint, The Life And Legend - Patrick McGilligan
The Psychology Of Everyday Things - Donald A. Norman

listening
From The Bogs Of Aughiska - From The Bogs Of Aughiska (CD)
Out Of Your Mind - Alan Watts (CD)
Various - Yerevan Tapes (Soundcloud)

viewing
Sinai Field Mission - Frederick Wiseman
Great White Death - Jean-Patrick Lebel
Cropsey - Barbara Brancaccio, Joshua Zeman

ACQUISITIONS 15
ACQUISITIONS 14
ACQUISITIONS 13

UNCLE WILLIAM TO RETURN

Uncle William is coming back from his sabbatical...

DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 10
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 9
DEAR UNCLE WILLIAM 8