Friday, July 16, 2010


The latest from Pravda. I suspect these three stories are connected in unimaginably horrific ways.

Chupacabra Devours Rabbits And Cats In Ukraine
On weekly visits to a local charity bookstore my third favourite shelf is the one they have dedicated to 'the unexplained'. It's populated with titles on alien visitations and abductions, mysterious natural phenomena, and best of all, on cryptids. Whether the folkloric Nessie is actually a plesiosaur or a giant sturgeon is less important than my urgent need to believe that there really are goatsuckers out there. Even better that they be from Ukraine.

Russia To Become Childfree Land Under Western Influence
Even by the extreme standards set by Pravda's opinion features, this one is out-and-out bonkers. You wouldn't want it any other way. I love the strident tone of its premise that couples are 'refusing' to have children, as if being threatened by some external force, and that it's misguided anti-abortion propaganda and the sexual promiscuity in TV series to blame for the increasing childlessness of Russia's couples. This is NLP.

Carbonated Drinks: Learn The Truth!
The success of the fizzy drinks industry is an extraordinary demonstration of the effective powers of marketing and advertising. Lidl sell their own brand 'cola' in huge 2 litre bottles for 29p and nobody will go near it, like it was some kind of contaminated brown mouthwash. Meanwhile, the ubiquitous and undoubtedly no less toxic products of Pepsi, Red Bull, and Coca-Cola are embraced like long-lost friends, damn the expense. Does anyone really know what Irn Bru is made of?



Misty Vistula said...

Chairman Mao minus one!!He didn't go far enough!!

Nick said...

Irn Bru is made from GIRDERS