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Note the barely seething tone of HM Forces' official website's account of how our guardians of the high seas were compelled to hand the seventeen Somali pirates various freebies before escorting them safely back to shore. The bedevilled detail being 'in one case even a nicotine patch'.

As they stepped off the warship, Commander Wilkinson told the head of the pirate gang: ‘If you are a leader, go back and lead for good. If you are going to carry on in this trade, expect to find me and my colleagues waiting for you.And If I see you again, it’s not going to go well.’ 

Wilkinson's stern reprimand, undoubtedly delivered in a laughably cut-glass public school accent, isn't likely to give our delightfully badass picaroons many sleepless nights. However, I suspect the irony of this prime example of sad lonely posturing ex-imperialists thousands of miles from home will not go unappreciated.

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Despite its being by the BBC, this Somali pirate documentary is worth seeing.

You get Auntie's overbearingly earnest trademark voice-over and a patronising simplification of the issues. A well-spoken European-based Somali expat gets to go over, at no doubt enormous expense, to have a few minutes of pointless conversation with some locals. There is no real new footage to enjoy, and nothing isn't said that will surprise anyone (much like myself) with but a basic grasp of what's happening.

Yet well worth seeing because this modern-day piracy story is just so compelling. Whether they be the numpty English negotiator on the phone from London, the public schoolboy Navy officer twit, or the impotent European patrol ships, all the westerners only succeed in making the T-shirted pirates buzzing around in their puny skiffs seem all the more badass.

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Ever wondered what a vast amount of pirate loot looked like? Direct from the dusty backstreets of Somalia's main port. The comments are priceless. Also check out the other exciting pictures listed below.

- can we have our boat back, please?
- welcome to Pirate Beach
- breeze blocks
- brass telescope (I don't need no)

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In case you were wondering, I'm still sticking up for the pirates. And before you jump to conclusions, it's well worth reading this alternative angle by Johann Hari on the story (thanks to Yin for the link).

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The saga of those Somali pirates gets more surreal by the day. According to AP, one of the five who recently drowned has been found washed up on the beach with $153k stuffed down his pantaloons. Whatever you say about those roguish seafarin' hearties, the beachcombers there are reassuringly honest.

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Lo-tech is the new hi-tech. More incredible pictures of pirate action from the high seas off the lawless coasts of Somalia.

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While not exactly of the glamour of Pirates Of The Caribbean, there's still something rather old school romantic about those audacious rapscallions off the coast of Somalia who buzz around in their tiny speedboats tooled up with trusty rocket launchers on the look-out for bounty. That these guys could brazenly capture a giant oil tanker in this day and age is hard to believe. But there's something reassuring knowing it can be done. Have a look at the amazing gallery of photography by Veronique De Viguerie.