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The cruise ship Aurora was cursed from the moment the champagne bottle failed to smash on impact before her maiden voyage. Ever since, she's suffered viral outbreaks on board, repeated engine problems, explosions, passenger mutinies, and now, as she negotiates the treacherous seas of the Gulf of Aden, finds herself threatened by those irrepressible Somali pirates.

The foredoomed ship's 1,870 long-suffering passengers have been advised to draw their curtains in observance of a dawn-to-dusk blackout, albeit with the concession of being able to leave their cabins (whilst avoiding the deck area). For what that's worth. Personally, I tend to think these 21st century buccaneers are currently in possession of rather more sophisticated technology than antique brass telescopes.

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