Friday, April 24, 2009


When Melanie Daniels sits waiting in front of a children's climbing frame, with each masterfully timed shot, we witness the crows gathering menacingly on the bars behind her, and the sense of fear is exacerbated by our seeing what she does not, to the soundtrack of an ominously low electronic hum.

If you type 'aggressive seagulls' (or somesuch wording) into your search engine of choice, it becomes apparent that this scene is portentous. Gulls are not only becoming increasingly bold and adept at snatching people's food, but are now invading inland areas
on a worldwide scale. They have developed a taste for junk food (in fact, they're pretty much omnivorous), and seem to deliberately target sweaty overweight badly dressed humans, relieving them of their greasy take-aways and snacks. Not to mention other reported attacks on men of the cloth, and dubious 'performance artists'.

Look deep into the gull's beady eyes, and you see reflected this keen sense of focus, this refined purpose, a zealotry of dark intent. And it's all happening behind our backs and there's nothing we can do about it. Today a cheekily snatched french fry, slice of pizza, or ice cream cone - tomorrow they'll be pecking a man's eyes out and gorging on live human flesh. In their millions. What a delicious almost divine irony for the human race.



SYpHA_69 said...

I always loved that scene in "The Birds." Seems kinda bizarre to me that Hitchcock never really won an Oscar for best director, other than an honorary lifetime achievement one towards the end of his life. Then again, the Oscars have always been very clueless at times.

Thomas Bey William Bailey said...

I say let the seagull offensive begin in earnest. Between the tourists and this smug artiste who sacrificed a perfectly good corgi (I'm guessing in order to make some sort of ham-fisted statement about royalty?), they seem to be picking good targets.

The Shivering Manatee said...

Birds are very well designed. Hollow bones and a bladder/bowel combined into one, all to save weight. And some mysterious navigation system we don't quite understand....