Tuesday, August 19, 2008

THE WHIZZINATOR

And speaking of transparent concessions, it's the Olympics.

The jingoism and hypocrisy that the UK excels at is in overdrive after such a surprising harvest of gold medals.

At the opening ceremony, arms went up when a pretty Chinese girl was seen to be miming and not the bucktoothed original singer. Days later the papers were full of sceptical indignation regarding the true ages of the Chinese female gymnasts while at the same time Team GB proudly fielded a cute 14 year old boy diver. Then it was the turn of the arrest of an ITV hack who, while covering an impromptu Free Tibet demo, got himself arrested by the Chinese 'goons' (if only these journalists were as diligent about reporting on our very own police state and routine invasions of sovereign nations).

Needless to say, there are no end of scams that athletes get up to escape drugs detection and our lot, under the mentorship of past master Linford Christie through UK Athletics, are well-versed in all the deceits. The use of fake genitals, bladders, synthetic urine, 'missed' tests, drug cancellers, and various other sleights are as important as the training itself, as are the intensive workshops in knowing what to say, and how to say it, if ever caught out. In the latter case playing the 'plucky Brit' card will usually work - unfortunately, not an option for the Eastern bloc competitors, or any swarthy Mediterranean types.


UK Athletics, with the shadow of the financially crippling London Games in 2012 looming, have adopted a brazen win-at-all-costs strategy where results are all that matter regardless of how they're achieved. Hence our Olympic success. Even from a country mostly populated by sweating alcoholic clinically obese couch potatoes on the permanent cusp of a heart attack.

8 comments:

LJP said...

Didn't even bother to watch it at all. I'm so disappointed in humanity in general. I can see why the Olympics exist, but it's all gone stupid just like today's society is. Might as well be American Idol as far as I'm concerned...

Shonx said...

I was quite bemused by someone telling me that we'd won loads of medals. Nowhere near as entertaining as watching the folks telling me we'd been kicked out of the world cup again though.

flora_mundi said...

it's funny because canada, up until this weekend, was performing so abysmally thatthe ONLY news you heard in this country about the games was where the protesters managed to unfurl a banner and how many were arrested on each given day. oh, and how russia and georgia were faring in competitions against one another. you'd hardly know there was a sporting event at all... hmmm...

Graeme said...

It's particularly amusing to watch from America, because all those buildings our Conservatives are decrying as ugly were built with interest paid on the debt our Chimp President has run up for spending on our 'permanent emergency.'

I actually don't mind sport, but I don't understand why doping is (supposedly) banned when special suits and a well-engineered pool are deemed OK.

These attitudes are as much about voodoo as our economic policies.

Richard Molyneux said...

I work very closely with the Vancouver 2010 Olympic organizing committee and get to see firsthand how they operate. It is horrible but not surprising.

Ea-M. said...

I had a closer look in one of the free newspapers here in Cph. And DK are apparently doing so badly that i had to get to page 9 before the olympics was even mentioned - and that was in a "funny" article about sports journalists.

Total denial is a way to get through the olympics as well.

Kasty said...

I never understood the feeling of national pride some people get when some freak who's entire life has been dedicated to a single sport wins a medal.

AxemRangers said...

As opposed to dedicating your life to a single art, craft, or business.