Saturday, August 16, 2008


You could say a few lessons have been learned.

Iron Man (**)
that's it, no more of these stupid superhero movies for me - and this particular trash doesn't even have a bad guy like The Joker, The Dark Knight's saving grace; Downey really annoys the hell out of me here, Paltrow's character is pathetic, more product placement than even 007, and this all added to some of the most puerile corniest Hollywood dialogue I've ever heard in my fucking life

Happy-Go-Lucky (*)
another scandalous waste of celluloid funded by UK Lottery money - apart from the rotten acting, the excruciatingly phoney London accents alone will drive you to the brink of insanity

Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden? (**)
it's an irony that a rather unconvincing Morgan Spurlock needs the Bin Laden legend almost as much as Bush and those who would support 'Al Qaeda' do - otherwise he doesn't have a film; Spurlock comes across as a decent guy and this lightweight movie contains a few genuinely interesting moments which needed to be developed at the expense of the dubious premise, the cop-out ending, and the corny jokes and songs, and, it goes without saying, all the meh crap about his baby's birth

Sex And The City: The Movie (**)
not a welcoming experience for us guys and if these four ghastly women are truly representative of the female gender then we are really in trouble - unattractive, atrocious dress sense, egotistical, materialist, narrow-minded, vacuous, unreceptive, superficial, immature, rude, condescending, judgmental... however, I'd like to think that they aren't; that said, there are lots of funny lines and moments to enjoy and there's a cheerful energy to it despite the second half dragging a bit towards its inevitable and utterly predictable outcome

Stanley Cuba (*)
worthless indie crap

Water Lilies (***)
only French cinema could get away with a pervfest like this, and one can be glad for that - that said, let's be honest and not fool ourselves, it's not at all a character study of blossoming female adolescence, it's wishful thinking with all the mandatory bisexual symbols, references, and motifs neatly packaged up and delivered by a drooling director having a field day indulging herself with the talent - so hallelujah if it's what you too are into

Suffering Man's Charity (*)
did this cast of third rate thespians all take a humungous speedball before the shooting began? the resultant overacting is utterly unbearable


Andy Capper said...

Iron Man rules. Ginger Gwynneth is hot.

Thomas Bey William Bailey said...

I think my comments on these reviews are increasingly turning into a "thank you for not liking (insert film title here)" sideshow, although it is nice to see somebody contradicting the near-unanimous critical appraisal for Iron Man.

I don't really make it out to many of the 'superhero' movies to begin with, but the deal was sealed for me here by the smug Pentagon official who said, loosely, "this movie is going to make the Air Force come out looking like rock stars..." it's no secret that the armed forces poured millions of $ into this blockbuster (supplying jets and otherwise unattainable props and sets)in exchange for a none-too-subtle public image boost.

The Shivering Manatee said...

William, your high threshold for rom-com/chick-flick type movies has been a bit of a mystery to me.I admit I haven't seen SATC, but I have no intention of ever seeing it. I can't even watch a single episode of the TV series without a deep intramuscular injection of Stemetil first. 2 stars seems awfully generous.

Scott McKeating said...

I enjoyed Happy Go Lucky. I felt its core was a brief exchange where someone was asked if they were happy, and they replied 'well, thats the big question isn't it'.

Mark said...

After watching Sex & the City, I suddenly realized the artistic-merit of the latest Sutcliffe Jugend releases.

Miss Kerry said...

sex and city.

i watched it too. in a bad tim when something light hearted and rom com would help keep me from gnawing the furniture from the anguish.

i liked the bird hat in the wedding( no bird were harmed, actually. was made from discarded feathers from someones dear old feathered friend. thats nice.)

And Mark, for that comment I dearly love you. Whoever the hell you are.