Friday, July 18, 2008

TORNADO SHOUT

I feel like having a good rant today and there are a few people I just find intolerable. Here are three examples. Please feel free to point out any others.

Charlie Brooker - he's always there leaning at the bar, pint glass in hand, surveying for eye contact and a potential audience, he's the pub's loudest most miserable bore with an opinion about everything, and to whose face no-one will say what an ignorant pillock he is

Ewan McGregor - how the hell does such a wooden actor manage to land so many major roles? am I going insane? please reassure me he really is absolute pants! it tragically disproves the adage that quality will always prevail

Bob Geldof - OK, easy target I know, because I've never met anyone with a good word to say about him - but a brief perusal of 'Sir' Bob's Wikipedia entry will remind you how little this talentless tosspot has contributed to anything, anywhere, at any time

18 comments:

SYpHA_69 said...

Yeah, but over here we have Bill O'Reilly. Talk about utterly disgusting human beings!

Ewan McGregor is certainly overrated... I did kind of like him in "Velvet Goldmine" though.

William Bennett said...

is that the Fox News guy? indeed one of the most unlikeable human beings ever to have sullied the planet

SYpHA_69 said...

Yeah, though to be honest, he's only the most well-known member of a ghastly fraternity of hundreds of loud middle-aged white guys who specialize in a sort of "no-nonsense", "tell it like it is", "straight-talking", "politically incorrect", "Anti-Hollywood elitism" style of "news". His book covers are pretty hilarious, especially "Culture Warrior".

Thomas Bey William Bailey said...

"Please feel free to point out any others..."

Uh oh!

Well, this is perhaps closer to your sphere of influence than, say, Bob Geldof, but how about the commenter on this blog who, whilst waxing nostalgic, claims Whitehouse never did enough for the power electronics "scene".

Because apparently creating it in the first place was not enough, I guess. Interesting to see this gentleman has a book on 'the scene' coming out soon, it will be amusing to see what exemplars of artistic ingenuity he suggests as a more 'scene'-worthy alternative to your work.

These power electronics purists have more in common with someone like our aforementioned Bill O'Reilly than I think they'd freely admit. The wounded animal / siege mentality and the yearning for halcyon days which never existed being just two of the more striking similarities.

And then there's the shared Nazi-exploitation fetish: Bill O' is practically the undisputed champion of the reductio ad Hitlerem argument and insisting that pretty much all geopolitical conflicts can be reduced to a dead simple "Axis vs. Allies" equation.

Ea-M. said...

Jørgen Leth! (Who you properly only know through The Five Obstructions) He just makes my toes curl. It's not the fact that he "takes the chef's 17 year old daughter because it's his right to do so" it's more that he afterwards justify himself by saying he also payed her education and so on, instead of admitting he does so, because he wants to and because he truly sees this as his right.
And still that's not it, it's just that he's unbelievably nasty. The way he speaks, the way you can't avoid getting aquainted with his latest opinion about everything. That he apparently have slept with so many women i can only explain with a horde of tahithian servants all appointed on the merits of how many daughters they have. Such a slime-ball...
And it truly annoys me that i actually find some of his art very interesting.

Ewan McGregor is a part of the group of men, a lot of women have been convinced is sexy and attractive like... Keanu "Cardboard-Cutout" Reeves.

To the group of "tell it like it is" "in your face" i count Michael Moore and Penn and Teller as absolute "icons" catering to lowest common denominator of annoing white middleclass values.


I've had the most horrible day, normally i have very low blood pressure and a very efficient bullshit filter....

Jack Sargeant said...

Bono... self righteous bore, I seem to think that somebody described his dull pop band as "inexplicably popular" which pretty much nails it. In someway he annoys me more than 'St' Bob.

Thomas Bey William Bailey said...

Bono... self righteous bore, I seem to think that somebody described his dull pop band as "inexplicably popular" which pretty much nails it.

Worst of all for me personally, the new iPod Touch comes with an on-screen icon of Bono's silhouetted head that you must press in order to select which artist's music you want to listen to.

It is a truly weird feeling thinking that I have to go through Bono as an intermediary in order to listen to Sun Ra or Hijokaidan.

At least Bob Geldof doesn't intrude on my daily life in such a manner.

William Bennett said...

damn, I just noticed that on mine too - that is really offensive; must find a way of modding his face off there

Jack Sargeant said...

While we're decrying 'journalists' I have to say that Lucy Mangan's columns in the Guardian colour section at weekends infuriated me. I'm not sure if it's her twee vocabulary or cute terms for her partner ('Tory Boy') or her irritating subject matter (her life as a struggling Guardian columnist, the struggle of buying a house, her first trip to New York, all have been shat from her pen), but she drives me unreasonably nuts. What was worse was that - however much she annoyed me - I felt some form of repetition compulsion and would continue to read her column, thus guaranteeing I'd be pissed off. No other journalist / columnist ever had that effect on me, not even Brooker.

Nicholas said...

The Edge is as much a no mark as Bono to be fair, not only does he call himself "The Edge", he's been using the same dreary digital delay effect for about 20 years!

Richo said...

If we're talking music, then let's put Sting in there next to all of U2 and the godfather of bands who wanted to be The Clash, Geldof.Another easy target, sure, but a wholly vile and worthless individual who I'd happily see the capital punishment brought back in for crimes against taste and culture. In fact, the whole bloody lot of them can be strung up by their doubtlessly withered sacs and pelted with their own albums until dead as far as I'm concerned.

As for U2, you may well not like the band they once ripped off, the Bunnymen, but I'm with McCulloch on his remark that they "just make music for builders to whistle to". Although that may be unfair to some builders...

I could happily see Paul Daniels, Noel Edmunds and that huge tub of completely talentless lard who somehow passes as a comedian, Johnny Vegas, being reasons for the return of capital punishment, too.

Still easy targets but, boy, there are so many of them!

Ea-M. said...

Only one woman represented!?! That's kind of disappointing...

Richo said...

I thought Bono was a woman!

Ea-M. said...

I thought you had higher thoughts on the XX-chromosomed individuals than that, Richo.

Sigh.

Richo said...

Humblest of apologies, ea-m. You're right. I've gone from being unfair to builders to, now, women. Let's just return to the simple business of tying to see Bono being cast into a void for those infinite crimes committed against the rest of us...!

Walter Peck said...

Liam Gallagher - Actually views himself as some kind of rebellious anti-establishment figure and sincerely believes in 'Rock and Roll' and all it supposedly stands for, yet fails to realise that him and his band make what is undoubtedly the safest, most conservative and readily accepted style music that exists in this country.

In my eyes Oasis are like the government approved form of rebellion, totally harmless but just crass enough to make people think there is actually something 'dangerous' about the band or their tepid, dated, formulaic and conservative music. Liam is the figurehead of these deluded fools, so he gets my vote.

LJP said...

About the same reason I hate bands like Third Eye Blind, Counting Crows and the Goo Goo Dolls. Equally as mediocre as Oasis IMO...

Miss Kerry said...

Perhaps because pompous twats are more a male syndrome, and female equiv is something equally dire/nasty- but not quite the same horse.