Tuesday, April 10, 2007

DIRTY DOG

There's not much funnier than a naughty dirty dog.

When I was growing up we used to have a mongrel called Growler who was a villainous counter surfer who one Christmas managed to snatch the entire family turkey while no-one was looking, and scoffed it all right down to the bones, before scampering upstairs to the master bedroom to sleep it off. I laughed so much and thought he deserved a glass of cognac and a cigar for his cheeky exploits. This dog was what reminded me of Growler, who would think nothing of peeing up against my auntie's leg, or even brazenly sniffing and licking her crotch area with his long rough eager plundering tongue.

4 comments:

theotherjohn said...

My parents would often look after a friend's sheepdog called Tilly when they went away on holidays. One day as my mum was preparing pork chops for dinner she left the succulent pieces of meat on open display. The smell must have been truly unbearable for Tilly who was guarding them, so much so that when my mum returned to the kitchen she found that they had gone missing and that Tilly the sheepdog was lying underneath the kitchen table looking sheepish (no pun intended). My mum said to her "Tilly, did you eat the pork chops?" and on those last two words Tilly's paws were raised over her face as it lowered in pleading forgiveness and shame. We all thought it was hilarious.

To this day if you ever mention the immortal phrase "Pork Chops" to Tilly she repeats the same action unfailingly, much to our amusement. I bet even Pavlov would get a kick out of it.

Anton Maiof said...

A lady friend of mine used to refer to her cunt as her Growler. Your story has reminded me of her cunt, an area that could only be made more beautiful by the addition of sharp teeth.

Not that this should distract people from the tale of your Scamp-Hund.

mcarpio said...

william, this post is so fucking funny, so perfectly worded, i've forwarded a link to many people already...for those of us who are the serious fans of this here blog, would you divulge the average # of visitors, daily or weekly or whatever? i couldn't be the only one curious about how many fans there are of yr writing here.
all the best, michael

William Bennett said...

many thanks for your kind words, Michael, it's much appreciated - I haven't been keeping stats on these pages, but it's most gratifying to hear that people do read the blog, very best, W.